My support system

My support system is me. That is probably why I always fail at the weight loss thing. I do all the grocery shopping and errand running by myself so there's no one to say "no". When I'm having a bad day my will power gives out and I usually bring home something I shouldn't. I'm home with the kids all night typically by myself so there's no one to say "hey fatty, go workout". I'm not doing so bad this time. I did the treadmill Monday and today I attempted a Jillian Michaels DVD. I got 14 minutes into it when I just couldn't do anymore. My goal is to get 2 minutes farther into it each time. I think I can manage that. I spend most of my time focusing on getting the kids where they need to be, getting things done around the house, and making sure my husband has what he needs. By 9pm, I have nothing left to give, not even to myself. So, I guess I wish I had someone who had the time to ask "How'd you do eating today" or "I'll put the kids to bed, you go on the treadmill". Yes, I'm whining. I'm very lucky and I have a blessed life, yet without my food, I feel empty. Well, time to read to the kids, jump in the shower and fold some laundry. Tomorrow is a new day, right?

When I work out.....

Well, this last week I had no favorite time to work out, so I didn't. I was bad. I ate good, but had some back issues that I just have to wait out, can't do anything about them and it sucks. It's not even my back's problem, so I feel sorry for my lower back, too. Anyway, When I do work out, I prefer no one to be home. So as soon as the kids get on the bus and hubby is out the door, I'm on the treadmill. Just me, the MP3 and my loud off key singing. If I wait until after the kids go to bed, my motivation is lost, plus I can't sing loud. I've never exercised when the husband was home. He bugs me because he KNOWS it bugs me. Tomorrow morning I have a date with the treadmill, 8am sharp. I plan on keeping it no matter what.

Fav low-cal snacks

I'm having a hard time finding things I like other than cut up raw veggies. I discovered rice cakes, they are actually really good. My favs are chocolate-peanut butter & apple cinnamon. They have mini ones that come in a bag but I tend to want to eat the whole bag. I also always have sugar-free jello & pudding in the fridge. The hubby and I have this almost every night. The jello has so few calories and I use skim milk for the pudding.
It's actually getting easier to be healthy. I'm getting used to not having my junk food around and I broke my iced tea addiction. That's right, I drink water ALL the time. I worked out 3 times this week, too. That was not easy but I did it and I'm not dead :) I'm not expecting to lose this week though, I'm fighting the uncontrollable bloat monster. At least I know I did everything I could and it's not my fault. I have a lunch meeting at Church tomorrow - pasta dishes. I'm bring salad so I got light dressing so I can have that. Somehow I'm going to resist the urge to indulge in all the lasagna and fettuccine.
Here's to another healthy week!

My food weaknesses

Before I talk about my horrible eating habits, I want to say that I worked out again today. That's twice in one week and that hasn't happened for a very long time.
Now, my food weaknesses are bountiful. I'm a sucker for gooey cheesy garlic bread & pasta. I crave this more than sweets. I can't even buy garlic bread right now because I know I can't stop at one piece. I have to watch pasta because I can't seem to stop at a serving. Than there's the bakery section at any grocery store. It takes everything in me to shop and NOT buy the special cake of the week and hide it only to eat the whole thing as soon as the kids go to bed. I decided that since I have no self control over these things, then I won't have them in the house. Until I get better at sticking to a serving, it's the only way. Now I have bags of romaine lettuce, cut up carrots, celery, peppers & radishes. Rice cakes with a little peanut butter have been a good mid day snake and I love healthy choice soup. I'm finding things I actually enjoy to eat, but I don;t enjoy them so much I go crazy. I also started drinking lots of water.
Some day , soon I hope, I'll be able to eat some spaghetti and ONE slice of garlic bread and feel satisfied. Have a healthy week!

What keeps me going...

What keeps me going is the thought of my kids going this same exact struggle when they grow up. They did not get the healthiest genes from me or their Dad. Weight and food is on our minds ALL the time. Now we are trying to show them by example how to be healthy. We don;t say diet in front of them. We tell them it's about being healthy. I don't want my 8 year old daughter to think being healthy is being a size 2. We are teaching them moderation, no food is bad but some foods are only eaten occasionally. Hopefully, we can stop them from developing the bad habits we created for ourselves.
So, I failed on the workouts this week, but still lost 1.4 pounds. The kids go to bed in a few minutes and I'm going straight to the treadmill. My mp3 is all ready for me. I know I have to workout, I just really dread it. God only gave me this one body so I need to take better care of it. So, I'm off to read to the kiddies and then I have a date with the treadmill. My reward will be a hot bubble bath and a good book. I hope everyone has a happy and healthy week.

And your new weight is....

Today was my first weigh-in and I lost 3.4 pounds. I now weigh 209.6 pounds. Hubby was very proud of me. I'm proud of myself. I had to make kolacky's (very yummy Polish cookies) for my daughter's very first oral report at school. You have no idea how hard it was to only eat the 3 cookies I had. I wanted them ALL!!!!! She just brought home the leftover cookies, too. Now I have some in the house. I can do it, though! I went to the grocery store today and didn't buy any of the stuff I usually get, and then hide from everyone else. I even went out to eat and did OK. I started with a huge salad then I could only eat 1/2 of my grilled chicken sandwich. I'm making much better choices, not being perfect, but a thousand times better than before. This week I will get my mcfatty rear end on the treadmill. I'm shooting for 3 times a week, 30 minutes each. That's what my doc recommended so I'm gonna give it a try. I even bought smart ones frozen dinners for those days I forget to plan ahead. No more eating a box of spaghetti because I forgot to thaw out chicken. And yes, I can polish off a whole box of pasta with no problem (and a whole lot of garlic bread with it). My first week of healthy living is over and I survived. I'm 3 pounds lighter and not as crabby as day one. I'm not so afraid of this week anymore. I don't know if my vicious cravings will ever completely go away, but they are fading, and that is good.

Doing OK

4 days of better food choices - and I've survived!!!!! I've been trying to stay busy to avoid senseless eating. It helped that I had to shovel twice already. I was very honest with my hubby today and told him I missed my comfort food. I have been getting crabby around 5:30 every night. I'm hoping this passes as the days go on. I loaded up the MP3 my brother-in-law gave me and as soon as I get earbuds, I'm tackling the other thing I hate - the treadmill. I know this will make the biggest difference in trying to lose weight so I have to do it.
Hubby and I starting watching the biggest loser this week. We tape it and watch it later when he gets home from work. This week was the first time I watched that show WITHOUT pigging out. I was very inspired by the women and the pounds they lost. If I had nothing else to do but workout and have a trainer scream at me all day, I'd probably lose 20 pounds, too. But, we all have to deal with every day life during our journey. When I weigh myself, I'd like to see any weight lose, even 0.2 pounds would make me happy. I've decided to I need to put my starting weight on here, too. Time to 'fess up to what I did to myself. I weigh 213, all packed into a 5' 2" frame. I weighed 186 nine months pregnant with my son so needless to say I'm quite disgusted with that "213" number. But, I can change it and I will. Now, time for a salad :)