I'll start with a few facts about myself. I'm 34 and have been married for 11 years. I have 2 of the most beautiful, intelligent, wonderful children on the planet. I've been a stay at home mom for 8 years. My sister-in-law mentioned a weight loss blog so I thought I'd give it a try. I tend to babble and run on so I apologize in advance. With that said, here I go....
Yes, I'm trying to lose weight, again. This time I feel like there's not much of a choice in the matter. I got on the scale Monday for the first time in 4 months. It was scary. I've never seen that number before, not even pregnant. The scale is no longer my friend, he is mean and evil and just not nice. After sitting in the corner and crying over the number, I realized it's time to do something about it. I've tried and failed more times than I can count. This time, I have no goal. No more "I want to lose 20 pounds by this date". It doesn't work. So Monday I just started eating better. I actually ate breakfast. Egg beaters and turkey bacon were not very satisfying, but I ate it. Today is day 2 and I miss my junk food, badly. I was so used to putting the kids to bed and having at least 2 hours before hubby came home to stuff myself with ever I had hidden and stashed away. I feel like I lost my best friend. Yes, I realize it's sad and depressing that food has become so important to me, but somewhere along the line I actually thought all the ooey gooey sugary stuff would make me feel happy. Well, it didn't. So now I've had to let it go. I have nothing to replace it with so I'm feeling a little lost. I need to be a good example to my daughter so I have to try my best this time. The last thing I want is for her to end up like me. She deserves better. So everyday I vow to make the best choices I can and not beat myself up if I make a mistake. This is a life long battle and some days I will lose to my demons. I'm weighing myself on Mondays and I'm hoping at some point to feel comfortable enough to put my starting weight on here. At the moment, I can't even say the number out loud. I figure, even if no one reads this, I'll be accountable to myself and I'll have a record of my ups and downs. I promise not every post will be a downer, but today I'm mourning the loss of my beloved friend - comfort food, may it rest in peace.
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3 years ago
Excellent blog! It's funny that you are mourning the death of your junk food friend because I wrote a letter to ice cream a few months ago and I told it that I just couldn't handle being it's friend anymore. I said it's not you, it's me, etc. Glad to see someone else shares that point of view, lol. I think it's definitely important for us to see our ups and downs so that we have something to reference back to later. Reading each others blogs has been so inspiring to me and I feel responsible to make healthier choices because I want to motivate you too. I also share the same inspiration you do about wanting to provide a better role model for our daughters. We can do this a little at a time.
ReplyDeleteKeep your head up.
ReplyDeleteWe all have the junk food monsters hiding in our closets! I am mourning losing my cookies. I am such a cookie-holic. It's all I am thinking about! They say it takes 7-21 days to break a food habit. God help us! Lol. We can do this. Just keep blogging and remember we are all in this together.